Can I have sex without getting married?

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1Sex is a gift from God to be enjoyed. However, the Bible also makes it clear that the only correct place for sex is in marriage, between a husband and wife (1 Corinthians chapter 7, verse 2).

Some of us might say, “But what’s wrong with casual sex? It’s just a bit of fun.” The truth is there is no such thing as ‘no strings attached’ sex. Sex is a powerful, intimate thing—and it leaves its mark.

Even if you don’t feel lasting attachment after sleeping with someone, the other person may well feel some level of hurt and sadness when you then decide to leave their life. Think of it like this, if we glue an object and stick it so something else and then rip the two apart, there will be some glue left on both (some sign that they once were joined together). If a glued object is repeatedly stuck on and ripped off other objects, it will soon lose its ability to stick at all. The longer a sexual relationship lasts, the more is left behind when we leave it.

That is why God gives us marriage as the safe, secure environment where a husband and wife can be joined together in sex. As part of their relationship, sex will help them grow closer together—knowing that they have committed in their marital vows to stay glued together all their lives.

Another objection might be, “But if I am committed to my partner, why do I need to get married?” It’s a good question. And again, it comes down to the true commitment of marital vows. These are not just words and a nice gesture—they are a promise to put our spouse first and to stay with them forever, through thick and thin. Until we have given our partner that kind of commitment before God and our friends and family, we are not truly committed. And God says we’re not ready to sleep with them and join with them in that special way.

It’s also important to remember that while sex is for the enjoyment of a husband and wife, it is also for making children. And the more sex we have outside of marriage with different partners, the more risk there is of having kids outside of the security of marriage. Sex before marriage means babies can be born to couples who are no longer together or even in contact. This is not the safe, secure family environment that God wants children to know.

Of course, saving sex for marriage doesn’t mean that there won’t be problems or that kids won’t grow up without a parent—but it is the plan God has laid out for us. And His plans are worth following; He knows best how we function and the most healthy ways for us to live out and enjoy our lives. If sex were kept just for marriage, there would be far fewer sexually transmitted diseases, unplanned pregnancies, abortions and messy relationships out there.

— Chris, an Our Daily Bread reader

 1 person has responded to this question.
If you would like to ask a question, or respond to one, please contact us.
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